Life is School: Lessons from the Tough Times

Life isn’t always easy, and it doesn’t come with a manual. For someone like me, growing up dyslexic in the 1960s, life felt even more confusing and isolating. I couldn’t read as a child, and it made me feel like a square peg in a round world. But maybe that’s because life itself is the ultimate school—where every challenge is a lesson, and every lesson shapes us into stronger, wiser individuals.

The road to growth isn’t smooth—it’s paved with fear, failure, and pain. For me, that road was often daunting. I was told “no” more times than I could count. People told me my dreams were foolish and my ideas were dumb. I was ridiculed for daring to break from tradition, like when I decided to build our own passive solar home, or when I left a good-paying factory job to go back to school, even though I’d only learned to read at the age of 28. Fear of failure and emotional pain were constant companions. But through these struggles, I discovered the power of facing fears, embracing failure, and persevering through pain.

Let me share what I’ve learned on this journey.

1. Facing Your Fears: The First Step Toward Growth

Fear is unavoidable—it whispers doubts, tells you to stay in your comfort zone, and convinces you that you’re not good enough. Growing up unable to read, I had plenty of fears. I feared being judged, failing in front of others, and proving the naysayers right. But facing those fears, time and time again, is what propelled me forward.

When I took the leap to go back to school as an adult, I was terrified. What if I failed? What if I wasn’t smart enough? But each step I took—learning to read, tackling new challenges—chipped away at the fear and built my confidence. Fear became my guide, showing me where I needed to grow the most.

Lesson: Fear doesn’t have to paralyze you. Use it as a compass to steer you toward your greatest potential.

2. Learning from Failure: The Teacher in Disguise

Failure was a constant in my early life. As someone with dyslexia, I struggled with tasks that came easily to others. And later, when I stepped away from a stable job to pursue education, the odds of failure loomed large. But I’ve learned that failure isn’t about falling—it’s about rising each time you fall.

When I was ridiculed for my unconventional choices—like building a passive solar home—I questioned myself. But even when things didn’t work out perfectly, those “failures” taught me to adapt, to believe in my vision, and to value the process more than the outcome. Whether it was raising children, raising horses, or going back to school, every failure became a stepping stone.

Lesson: Failure isn’t the end; it’s a teacher. Learn, adapt, and keep going.

3. Understanding and Dealing with Pain: A Path to Strength

Pain has been a constant companion throughout my life. Emotional pain from low self-esteem, from being ridiculed, from feeling like I didn’t belong—it was always there. But I’ve come to see pain as a necessary part of growth.

Much like how muscles grow through resistance, our character is built through adversity. The pain of being told I was foolish for following my dreams was sharp, but it taught me resilience. Raising children and caring for wildlife taught me empathy. And each painful moment became an opportunity to grow stronger.

Lesson: Pain isn’t the end of the story. It’s a chapter that builds your strength and wisdom for future challenges.

4. The Moment I Almost Gave Up: A Turning Point

One of the hardest moments in my life came during my first semester at SUNY Oswego. I was in a huge biology class, sitting in the second row of a packed lecture hall surrounded by young, brilliant college students. It felt as though everyone else understood the material effortlessly, while I was utterly lost. I felt like I was in a foreign country and didn’t understand the language. That afternoon, overwhelmed and on the verge of tears, I tracked down the lead professor in his research office.

I told him I thought I’d made a mistake by trying to get a degree, especially one that would eventually lead to my dream of becoming a veterinarian. With my dyslexia and the weight of self-doubt, I felt like a failure. But the professor listened and then shared a story about another dyslexic student he knew who had exceeded her own expectations and went on to achieve her dreams. He told me not to give up and encouraged me to simply do my best.

That conversation gave me the strength to compose myself and keep going. It was a pivotal moment—one where I could have walked away, but instead, I chose to persist. I went on to graduate Summa Cum Laude, earned my doctorate in veterinary medicine from Cornell University, and ultimately became board-certified in internal medicine. That turning point reminded me that sometimes all we need is a bit of encouragement to reignite our determination.

Lesson: Don’t let self-doubt make your decisions for you. Seek support, keep going, and trust that the effort will pay off.

5. The Value of Perseverance: Staying the Course

There were times when I wanted to give up. Learning to read at 28, pursuing college later in life, and building a life outside the traditional mold—it was exhausting. But perseverance kept me going.

Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Each day, I took one step forward, even when progress felt slow. Looking back now, I realize that the small, consistent steps were what led to my biggest achievements.

Lesson: Perseverance is the key to mastering life’s toughest lessons. Keep going, even when it feels impossible.

Why the Tough Lessons Are Worth It

Today, when I reflect on my life, I thank my lucky stars for the fears, pain, and failures I faced. They shaped me into the person I am. Each of those challenges—whether it was learning to read as an adult, raising children, or following unconventional paths—taught me invaluable lessons.

Life’s toughest moments are often the most meaningful. They teach us what we’re truly capable of and prepare us for future hardships with grace and strength.

Final Thoughts: Give It Your All

Life is a school, and the lessons aren’t easy. But they’re worth it. Facing fears, learning from failures, and embracing pain has made me stronger, more resilient, and deeply grateful for the journey.

So wherever you are in your journey, remember this: Every experience—whether joyful or painful—is a chance to learn and grow. Embrace the lessons with an open heart, and give it your all. The toughest moments may just be the ones that shape you into your best self.

Keep getting up, dust yourself off, and give it your very best.